sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
