I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
