I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
