I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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