this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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