I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
