new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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