You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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