I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
