it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
