I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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