i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
