? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
