do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I am morally bankrupt
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
