i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
COCAINE IS GR8
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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