Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
