I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
