is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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