very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We are two peas in an std pod
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
