I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
