garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
