it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's shark week go big or go home
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
