How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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