I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
