you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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