Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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