Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
