it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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