We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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