I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
