Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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