just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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