We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
