ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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