So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
