I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
