Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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