Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
