my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
