yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
