i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
