I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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