just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
third nipple confirmed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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