I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
