my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
