Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
