That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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