Only a mothe r could love this liver
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
