happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
