out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize