thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
