are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
