so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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