she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
