The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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