The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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