What a fucking waste of an outfit
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
