White coat. Heels.
You work out of a Hotel?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
