the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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