Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
