This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We are two peas in an std pod
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
